Truth Serum Talk Show Host
“Hi, and welcome to my show. My name is very important to me and I want you to know it. That is why I will repeat it often as the show goes forward.
“My job here tonight is to misinform you. I will repeat things that are untrue as often as I can and when you get tired of that I will bring on “experts” who will say these things for me. The last thing I ever want you to do is have all the facts so you can make an informed decision. What I will do, however is bring on as many people who I can who are either convinced they are correct but are not or who know they are lying and are very, very good at lying so that they can bring you up to date on the latest misinformation available to you, the consumer.
“We will also have special guests on who will not only lie but also vilify. They will make things up about those who oppose our agenda and smear them or ask you to kill them.
“We will pretend to be a news show but in fact what we really are is a mouthpiece for strata of corporations whose profit margins and, yes, whose very existence relies on you believing that the status quo is in your best interests even though it is not.
“Occasionally we will have special reports on the War on Terror, especially about the war in Iraq from reporters in New York and Washington who will tell you what the administration said today. They will also point out that the reporters in Baghdad are very biased in their reporting and should go outside and have a cup of coffee at one of the nice cafes in Baghdad and tell people once and for all how well things are going.
“Finally, we will, from time to time, report that a convicted Republican is a Democrat or that a leading Terrorist’s name is the exact same name as a leading Democrat.
“We will do this because we care. Not about you. This is not about you. We will do this because it serves our best interests and the interests of our corporate handlers.
“If what we say and do on this show makes your eyes glaze over then we feel we have accomplished our goals.”
“My job here tonight is to misinform you. I will repeat things that are untrue as often as I can and when you get tired of that I will bring on “experts” who will say these things for me. The last thing I ever want you to do is have all the facts so you can make an informed decision. What I will do, however is bring on as many people who I can who are either convinced they are correct but are not or who know they are lying and are very, very good at lying so that they can bring you up to date on the latest misinformation available to you, the consumer.
“We will also have special guests on who will not only lie but also vilify. They will make things up about those who oppose our agenda and smear them or ask you to kill them.
“We will pretend to be a news show but in fact what we really are is a mouthpiece for strata of corporations whose profit margins and, yes, whose very existence relies on you believing that the status quo is in your best interests even though it is not.
“Occasionally we will have special reports on the War on Terror, especially about the war in Iraq from reporters in New York and Washington who will tell you what the administration said today. They will also point out that the reporters in Baghdad are very biased in their reporting and should go outside and have a cup of coffee at one of the nice cafes in Baghdad and tell people once and for all how well things are going.
“Finally, we will, from time to time, report that a convicted Republican is a Democrat or that a leading Terrorist’s name is the exact same name as a leading Democrat.
“We will do this because we care. Not about you. This is not about you. We will do this because it serves our best interests and the interests of our corporate handlers.
“If what we say and do on this show makes your eyes glaze over then we feel we have accomplished our goals.”
posted by xoites at 3/22/2007 06:21:00 PM
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